Talk the Talk and Walk the Walk.

As each day goes by and I am mentally preparing to begin each Blog, I am beginning to realise how difficult personally this is becoming for me.

I am conscious of that which I am undertaking.

To enable me to write, I have to do some Soul Searching, which brings old thought patterns into being again, almost as if it is some sort of challenge is being presented.

This challenge is testing the strength of my somewhat fragile shell, and more importantly my homespun build-it-as-you-go-along Faith.

Many people will understand when I say little knock backs are taking me a day or two to get over.

All the time the Quickening seems to create a feeling of being in a strong flow, as if I am not quite in control.
If I was honest, I would have to say I do not feel as if I am having an 'awakening'.

I feel as if I am swimming against a very strong current and that I need to let go.

What is stopping me, I realise is my thoughts.
I am having a tussle letting go of them, or if I do, they bounce right back.
I can recognise the emotions of anger and fear, then a strange thing occurs.

I find myself smiling broadly, a new train of thought kicks in.

I wonder if even the enlightened have this struggle?
Does Eckhart Tolle get angry inside if people are nattering in the audience as he puts his points over?
Does he ever struggle to let it go?
Does the Dalai Lama get fed up with his daily routine?
Is he less than happy if his computer breaks down?

They must do surely...right?

I actually like the concept of being in the 'Now', unfortunately I struggle to maintain it.

I am a Baby Boomer, I have not the time or inclination to sit in a cave on a mountain, or under a waterfall meditating to reach enlightenment.
I have meditated for a large portion of my life and still find it difficult if the neighbour is cutting the grass or hedge outside.

'Hopeless case' I hear you say, 'tough, get over it', and you're right, and I have for the time being.

So I have mulled over in my head, 'As a man thinketh so is he'...'Thoughts are things'...'Like attracts Like'...'Think and Grow Rich'. Each of these statements poses me a potential answer.

So let me see here...If I think good positive thoughts more than I think negative ones, I'm onto a winner.
If I think specific positive thoughts, i.e. what I want, I'm rolling.
If I attract good positive outcomes, I'll get more of the same.

In order to propagate these positive thoughts, I need to eradicate the others quickly before they stick, so I will have to have a blank canvas to work with, a plan and perhaps most importantly...Faith.

I have learned from this, if I am going to talk all this through in these Blogs I owe it to myself to walk the walk.